I went to dinner the other day with some friends. One of the people who came brought her boyfriend, a person I had never met before. Now, he seemed nice enough, though I didn't have all that much to say to him.

When the waitress came, he asked whether it would be possible to get separate checks. She said that no, it wasn't, and went away to get drinks or something. While she was gone, he started complaining that it was unforgivable that they wouldn't allow separate checks, and that he wouldn't order anything and wouldn't go to that restaurant ever again. I figured this would just be idle grumbling, but he repeated these comments to the waitress when she returned. She stated that it was simply the restaurant's policy not to allow separate checks. He continued to complain. Finally, she offered to break her own employer's policy, and pulled a second check from her book to take his order. Nope, this wasn't good enough any more -- she had failed him, and it was too late. He refused to order any food. Miffed, the waitress took the rest of our orders and left. Between then and the arrival of our food, our hero decided that nothing about the restaurant could satisfy him, and he left, his girlfriend following.

I find it hard to understand the mentality of a person who refuses to be satisfied. Maybe it's the Canadian in me, willing to accept a certain amount of inconvenience with equanimity. I mean, he might have had perfectly legitimate reasons for wanting separate checks, and he was entitled to make the request. But in my mind, if it's the restaurant's policy not to honour that request, then he must respect that policy as a part of his dining experience. Looked at another way, if you don't like the way we do things here, then you're welcome to eat somewhere else; you won't be missed.

Even worse, however, was his refusal to order when she bent over backwards to please the customer. It takes a special kind of hardheadedness to forgo victory in order to inflict further punishment. He was truly leaving the waitress with no opportunities to make him happy. Really, what could she have done at that point?

The scary thing is, I think that I used to get into a similar mood from time to time. This was mostly when I was a teenager, so maybe it was a hormone thing (yeah, that's it, a hormone thing). I would spend an afternoon in a mood where nothing anyone did or said was good enough for me. Eventually I would snap out of it and realize I was being a jerk. In the long run, I guess I grew out of those moods, or trained myself out of them. And perhaps that's why I'm so bothered by the behaviour I witnessed the other day -- I have a sore spot for behaviour in others that I've managed to exorcize from my own personality.

I've always talked about how much I'd like to have "seven-league boots", devices that would attach to my feet and somehow greatly increase my stride and jumping ability. Something like a pogo stick attached to each leg. I'd just love to stroll to school with five-foot-long legs, at the pace of an inline skater or runner. Alas, I've never seen such devices for sale anywhere, and I've had to content myself with flying dreams.

Following a long chain of links, today I discovered Powerskip. They attach to your lower legs, and augment your Achilles' heels with enormous springs. They allow you to stand tall, run fast, and jump high.

Unfortunately, I'm not going to go out and pick up a pair tomorrow. They're manufactured in Germany, and hard to get in North America. Besides, they're quite expensive. Some other time, perhaps. Alternatively, you're welcome to send me a pair.

When I was in Montreal in February, my mom bought me a lovely Levi's watch. For a long time, I had been wearing wristwatches not on my wrist, but tied around a belt loop. This new watch was obviously the right one for me: instead of a band, it had a metal clip designed specifically to attach to a belt loop. True, it had a design flaw: the watch face hung right-side-up, the wrong orientation if one's goal is to read the time by looking down at the watch. But overall I was pleased with the gift.

The watch stopped working about two weeks ago. Kaput. And it broke just as I was on my way to a conference where I was giving a talk. I was to be stranded without a timepiece when I most needed to stay organized. Well, I made it through the conference, and when I got home I had the battery replaced, thinking that was the problem. It wasn't. I let the jeweller hang on to the watch, in case the problem was easily remedied. The next day, the jeweller told me that there was a mechanical problem, and he could fix the watch for thirty dollars. That's significantly more than the watch cost. I thanked him and took the watch back. I should point out that by the end of the week, this jewelry store had posted banners that it was going out of business. Coincidence? Yes.

A couple of days later, I called Levi's in the US. I was very impressed -- they immediately offered to replace the broken watch. The nice lady took my address and told me she'd send me a mailing label that I could use to send in the watch.

She called the next day and told me that because I had bought the watch in Canada, I had to contact Levi's there to get the replacement. I called them. They took my information and told me that because another company manufactures the watch under contract to Levi's, that company would contact me.

Two days later, an email came (addressed to "Mr. Caktlan", the worst misspelling of my name I've ever seen). The email was from someone at "Midore Inc." (never heard of them), telling me that I had to contact "Genender Inc.", as they are the licensed distributors. I left a message there last night.

Genender called this morning. I could send them my watch and they would fix or replace it. Sure, the free mailing label originally offered to me got lost in the chain of referrals, but there's still a chance that I'll end up with a working watch for a minimal cost (one long-distance phone call and some postage). The upshot is that I now have a concrete address to send the watch to. Is this the final chapter? Or will I receive a postcard from Lesotho saying that they had received my watch and were forwarding it to their repair centre in Iceland? You watch the time, and I'll time the watch.

* * *

In other time news, I finally decided today that I was fed up with the time on my home Linux box being consistently off by half an hour. In about a half hour, I found a HOWTO about getting one's Linux machine to keep accurate time, re-enabled ntpd (a program that automatically sets your computer's clock by querying an authoritative computer on the internet), located a freely-accessible ntp server, introduced myself to it, and poof! Time that's always correct. But I see from my computer's now-correct time that it's 12:08PM. Ah, time flies. And so must I.

[update: 21 May at 11:30]: Yesterday, I left a message with Genender asking them what was up. This morning, they called back to tell me that the watch was currently in their QA department, where it was being run for 48 hours to verify that it was working. Then it would be sent back to me. A mood of cautious optimism reigns here at Thingo central.

Nath made a pie today. Now, this event in and of itself has great local significance, because the pie is bound to be delicious. Of course, most of you will not experience the deliciousness, and must instead be contented with this only tangentially related visual mystery.

The recipe for the pie crust called for a small amount of very cold water. To obtain such water, Nath filled a small bowl and put it in the freezer. She pulled the bowl out a little while later, and discovered to her surprise a small "stalagmite" sticking out from the surface of the freezing water at a bizarre angle. Observe:

These photos aren't doctored in any way (except for some cropping). Now I ask you: how could such a rod of ice form in the freezer? It can't be the stalagmite brother of a stalactite hanging inside the freezer (think about why that can't be). I would say that you should check back here soon to learn the shocking answer, but really you shouldn't expect anything of the kind. I have no idea how this shape can arise. If you have a plausible theory, please share it with me.

[update: 15 April at 08:49]: The pie was good. Mmmmmmm.

[update: 19 April at 11:38]: Independent researchers have attempted to validate the remarkable findings at Thingo labs. Chris suggested that a stalagmite was formed, and once frozen, its weight caused it to tilt into the orientation shown. Jason posited that the water contracted as it froze, forcing a spur of ice out as the outer surface had to fit into a smaller area. But Eric, ever the scientist, wins with a theory that even has an official name: Giant's Causeway. He says that ice expands when it freezes (I believe that in fact, H₂O occupies a maximal volume at 4 degrees celsius and begins contracting below that, but the principle is the same). Eric says: "as the ice freezes part of it forms a nice hexagonal crystal embedded in still-liquid water. If the rest of the water forms less-organized crystals then as it expands it will tend to force the existing column out." For his diligent pursuit of the truth, Eric will receive a quarter cup of water, with which he can attempt to duplicate the experiment.

[update: 22 April at 11:41]: Dawn reports that the experiment has been successfully duplicated, or at least observed in the wild a second time. She saw the phenomenon twice in a friend's ice cube tray. Dawn suggests it's aliens. I see no reason why Freezer Gnomes have to be from another planet.

Last week, Nath and I went for our first ultrasound. I've never watched an ultrasound before, and it's totally amazing. The technology is so incredible, I almost believed that we were seeing something we weren't meant to see so easily. On the other hand, it's nothing like taking a photograph -- You get a sequence of 2D slices through a 3D object, not a visualization of the outside surface of the object you're looking at. So the able technician must reassemble the slices into an object (in this case, a foetus) in their head to make sense of what they're seeing. Plus, it's black and white and pretty grainy. All these factors contribute to the uncertainty of determining the sex of an unborn baby.

Despite all that uncertainty, the doctor was pretty confident in her determination last week. She's fairly certain we're having a girl. A girl!

Of course, this changes everything. Most importantly, Zebulon just won't do anymore as a code name. I mean, Zebulon may be a perfectly reasonable boy's name (well, it may be), but in continuing to use it we risk confusing the poor girl. Fortunately, I had already suggested the slightly modified "Zebula" in the case that we were dealing with a girl. That'll have to be the code name from here on in.

Note: if you were planning to shower young Zebula with gifts, don't feel that they now all have to be pink. Thank you. This message brought to you by the gender stereotype marketing board.

Welcome to a brave new world of Thingo. As you can no doubt tell, I've completely overhauled the look of the site to bring it up to date and make it hip with a younger demographic. It's certainly marvy groovy cool radical hip phat hella good.

Okay, well actually all I did was replace the solid green background with a subtle striped one. I've seen the stripes a lot recently, particularly in the attractive new look of Mac OS, and I decided I'd try them out for myself. Everything else is exactly the same. But I thought I'd mention the change both for its own sake and for the sake of breaking ten days worth of silence.

Obviously, ever since acquiring a snazzy new digital camera, I'm obligated to put it through its paces. At least, it's sort of fancy and I need to get familiar with the various features and magic buttons.

Now when you live in a household that's full of cats, you know you have an endless supply of willing subjects. Especially if you're a cat person, in which case every tiny pose or mannerism of your cat is another opportunity for an endearing photo. Such is definitely the case in this household, particularly since my cats happen to be the cutest ones around.

And so, for no particularly good reason other than that the light was rather nice yesterday, I present herewith a couple of portraits of my pweshiss widdle kitties. Click on each one to see a larger (slightly larger, not megapixelicious) version. Enjoy.