I received the following request from a student yesterday:

Can I go and talk to you about my project today during your office hour?

No! How dare you disturb the serenity of my office hour!

In case it's not obvious, my "office hour" is the time I set aside so that students in my class can come talk to me, making the request 100% redundant. It's like asking "Can I attend your lectures?" or "Can I submit assignments and take the exams?".

My bank recently updated the graphic on their front page. They now feature a friendly-looking guy smiling into the camera, with text telling you how easy it is to plan your financial future.

Now, this would all be hunky dory if it were not for the fact that the guy looks a little, just a little like the character Bogs Diamond from The Shawshank Redemption. Bogs, as you may remember, was a sadistic bastard who made the first years of Andy Dufresne's incarceration unbearable. Because of the faint resemblance, I can't trust my bank to assist me in organizing my finances. Compare for yourself:

Alright, looking at them side-by-side, maybe the resemblance isn't that striking. But my first reaction when I saw the updated bank website was "Bogs!". And I know I'm not the only one who had that reaction. Now I can't escape the vague fear that my bank is going to try to sneak up behind me and rape me in the prison shower. Ultimately, it's probably not that different from any other experience with one's bank *rimshot*.

I received a letter from my high school today, asking me for money. I'm not inclined to send any. I went to a posh, private suburban high school that valued rules and uniforms over enrichment and creativity. The music program consisted of a beat-up piano in a hallway (I used to amuse myself by playing the keys sufficiently fortissimo to crack the hammer shanks). They really didn't know what to do with me when I was there, other than give me detentions whenever I got bored and made noise in class. I had some talented and inspiring teachers at some points along the way, just as most people do in high school. But my overall recollections of the school aren't very positive.

I was a hard sell to begin with, so you'd think they'd put some effort into composing a powerful, moving fundraising letter. And you can imagine that it would be a bit of a turn-off when the school's two-word motto is printed big and bold in the text of the letter, with three spelling mistakes in it. That's three mistakes in two words. Now, I'll admit that the motto is in Latin, but come on -- it's also written (correctly) in the school seal that appears in the letterhead. I know your spell chekcer won't catch the Latin typos, but you could always double check.

The best part is that the motto translates as "the pursuit of excellence". I guess they're still pursuing it.